Haircuts, the Art of

Today I got a haircut doot doot doo. I haven't had my hair cut since December, so it was high time. I broke things off with my last hair stylist because I could sense that she didn't support my long hair ambition. So I got out. But when I suddenly, obsessively, maniacally had to get my hair cut today, I was up Split End Creek without a paddle. Cold and lonely, shut off and cutout from my hair network, I did the only thing someone afraid to cross the Charles could do: I called Judy Jetson.

One thing that bothers me about hairdressers is they will always tell you what is wrong with your last haircut if you went anywhere aside from their salon. The only time they don't criticize your wretched bird's nest of a 'do is if they gave it to you. They'll knowingly grab a chunk of the bottom of my hair and show me how frizzy it is, as if that's proof that my former stylist had no idea what she/he was doing. But isn't that just the natural cycle of a haircut? It goes from sleek to shaggy to splitting.

So of course my stylist today said, with evident disdain in his voice, "I can tell that your hair was razored last time, and that's why it's so thin on the bottom." I didn't bother telling him that no, it was not razored! Also, you would think that working in the line of hair cuttery, one would see a wide array of hairtypes and would be pretty open-minded about the many kinds of hair there are out there. Dude must have told me in as many ways he could think of that my hair is "thin." I wanted to tell him that the word is "FINE," not thin! And then he would say something like "Your kind of hair doesn't need any heavy product in it," (Um, let me guess, because it's so thin?) and "You just have the hair type that needs to be blow-dried, there's no getting around it" (I guess because its so horribly flat and THIN).

You know the scene in Austin Powers where Mike Myers snaps and says, "Alright, I get it. I have bad teeth!" That's what I felt like doing, only instead saying, "I get it! I have fine hair!" Thanks for the newsflash, guy.

Anyway, I must be some kind of masochist, because I would totally go back. My fine, thin, wispy strands look quite lovely. Just hang in there, little buddies.